Although you might think you are ready for love, there are some ways that we self-sabotage our own desires when it comes to relationships. Let’s look at 6 behaviors that keep you from finding a relationship that will work well for your needs.

YOU FIND IT HARD TO TRUST

We get it; putting yourself out there to potentially be hurt can be emotionally scary, but you have to take a risk if you want the big payoff. It’s better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. In order to have a deep love, you first must have trust, because that vulnerability to being hurt is a requirement of love. Otherwise, you are just sharing a closed heart with someone, which will keep you from finding a relationship that works.

YOU KEEP REPEATING THE SAME PATTERN IN RELATIONSHIPS

Similarly to your attachment style, if you are repeating old patterns of unhealthy relationship behavior, you may have some personal growth to do before you can be in a relationship that really works. Living in the past just will not work for you in a relationship. Your partner wants you to live in the here and now with them, and if you can’t let go of old, negative habits that don’t serve you, you can’t have a healthy relationship.

YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP WHO YOU ARE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

You should never have to sacrifice your personality for a romantic partner, so resolve to never let that happen and be ready for the possibility of a love where you can still be yourself AND be in a relationship that works.

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YOU’RE PURSUING SOMEONE WHO ISN’T SINGLE

Maybe he or she will leave their spouse, but in the meantime, you’re tying yourself up with someone who isn’t available, which means you are also not available to find someone who is looking for you.

YOU’RE AFRAID OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DID FIND THE RIGHT PERSON

Fear is not uncommon for those who are single, and in this case it’s the fear of finding a relationship that works. Sometimes you fear losing your freedom, or losing the potential for another romantic partner who could be even better and who might come along when you aren’t available. Sometimes, it is a fear of success that keeps you from true love.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Low self-esteem is one possible trait that keeps you from finding a relationship that works. It’s hard to love someone else fully until you can say the same about your relationship with yourself. Let’s focus on you for a while and then look for romance.

What else could Keep People From Finding Relationships That Work?

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