There are several phrases that, when uttered in a relationship, can make your blood run cold. Of course there’s the whole breakup bomb, and the cheating bomb. But there’s also the more benign — but somehow most scary? — moment when your partner asks for some space. Read on some tips so you two can maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

Figure Out What This Means To You

Healthy couples give each other space to have hobbies, friendships, and a life outside the relationship. Unhealthy couples, on the other hand, are often just pushing each other away. If you feel like that’s the case with your SO and all they’re “alone time,” then be sure to have a chat. After all, this is also a time for you to figure out what you want. But if you guys stay on the same page, you can spend a healthy amount of time apart and reap all those alone time benefits.

Have Fun When You’re Reunited

If your partner put you at arm’s length for a second, then you may very well feel some sense of anger or resentment. Fair enough, and be sure to talk about it. But don’t let it sully your reunion. Give [them] the space to miss you and then make the time you have together positive and high quality.

Distract Thyself

Having some “me” time will remind you of your own identity. And that’s a good thing. But I get that sometimes the loneliness is all you can think about. “In moments when you are lonely be especially kind to yourself, take a long run or a hot bath, call a friend, watch a movie, eat something good for you. Treat yourself with great kindness.

Be As Encouraging As Possible

Even if you’re kind of torn up about it on the inside, but on a brave face on the outside. Even go so far as to encourage your SO to take time away.

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Respect The Rules

If your SO needs space, actually give them space. “When they say they don’t want to text, don’t text. If they need two weeks, respect their request for two weeks. By ignoring the “rules,” you’re not actually giving them what they need.

Tell Your SO How You Feel

In the same way you’re respecting your partner’s need for space, he or she should respect you end up hating it. Tell your partner what is going on for you in an honest direct way. Honesty is the best policy in this situation.

Don’t Take It Personally

Your partner is telling you they need something, so it’s time to listen carefully. They aren’t asking for alone time to hurt you, or to purposefully make life difficult. They’re asking because they genuinely need some alone time. Being respectful of that — and the fact they were brave enough to ask you — is the best reaction.

Have you ever asked your partner for a space? Did it benefit your relationship?

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