LEARNING TO SAY NO

If your spare time is taken up with committee meetings and myriad other engagements, your family may be suffering. Being unable to say no can make you exhausted, stressed and irritable. It could be undermining any efforts you make to improve your quality of life if you spend hours worrying over how to get out of an already-promised commitment. Don’t wait until your energy runs out before you take a much needed step back to assess the situation. Here are top Tips for Saying No:

Be true to yourself

Be clear and honest with yourself about what you truly want. Get to know yourself better and examine what you really want from life.

Separate refusal from rejection

Remember you’re turning down a request, not a person. People usually will understand that it is your right to say no, just as it is their right to ask the favor.

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Consider a compromise

Only do so if you want to agree with the request, but have limited time or ability to do so. Suggest ways forward to suit both of you. Avoid compromising if you really want or need to say no.

Buy yourself some time

Interrupt the ‘yes’ cycle, using phrases like “I’ll get back to you,” then consider your options. Having thought it through at your leisure, you’ll be able to say no with greater confidence.

Don’t feel guilty for saying no to your children

It is important for them to hear no from time to time so that they develop a sense of self-control. It is hard to negotiate adult life without this important skill. Rather than cave in to their protests, let them know who is in charge by setting boundaries.

Keep your response simple

If you want to say no, be firm and direct. Use phrases such as “Thanks for coming to me but I’m afraid it’s not convenient right now” or “I’m sorry but I can’t help this evening.” Try to be strong in your body language and don’t over-apologize. Remember, you’re not asking permission to say no.

Have you ever regret not saying no in a situation before?

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