Do you tend to attract negativity? Do you often date toxic people? Perhaps you hang out with the wrong crowd? Do you often feel taken advantage of by others? If you’ve answered yes to any of those questions, then you may be attracting these people to you. While other people’s behavior is never your fault, you should be aware of how you’re inadvertently encouraging these bad individuals to gravitate towards you. Here are 3 reasons why you attract toxic people.
YOU ARE TOO NICE AND TOO KIND
Being too nice sounds like a good thing at first until you realize that it’s something toxic people love because they can take advantage of it. No, there’s nothing wrong with being kind or nice in general, of course – but there’s such a thing as too kind and too nice. That’s what happens when you don’t have sufficient boundaries in place and people are able to walk all over you. This isn’t a positive trait – it’s a sign that you have some learning and growing to do. This may also involve an inherent belief in humankind. That kind of positive thinking is admirable, but unfortunately, though there are many good and wonderful people in the world, there are also bad ones – and those bad ones are the toxic people who you’re trying to repel. Those toxic people want you to be too nice to them because then they get to take advantage of you.
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YOU’RE REPEATING OLD PATTERNS
The patterns you saw and experienced while growing up are ones you are most likely to recreate. The common joke of people constantly choosing to date or surround themselves with toxic individuals is a stereotype because, many times, it’s true – and that’s according to studies! This is especially true for intimate relationships. You learn your attachment style based on how you group up, who raised you, and the environment you saw as a child. Good, respectful, loving, unconditional, accepting environments and circumstances will lead to the formation of a secure attachment. Negative environments and circumstances, on the other hand, have negative effects on attachment. These negative circumstances may involve unsafe environments, abandonment by those loved and trusted, or parental figures who were neglectful, critical, abusive, or cold.
YOU’RE TOO GENEROUS WITH YOUR TIME
Generosity is, for most, a positive trait. It means you make time for others and are willing to sacrifice some of your free time – or even busy time – for them, then people are going to appreciate how much you do! Well… most of them will, at least. Unfortunately, the downside of generosity is that there will always be people who seek to take advantage of it. Toxic people are naturally drawn to those who they can use, and your generosity can be used against you by the wrong people.
Do these three traits apply to you?
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