It’s easy to become resentful when you’ve been hurt badly. Perhaps someone said something offensive that hurt your feelings, or there was an action that caused you great mental pain.
CONFRONT THE INDIVIDUAL
Now comes the most significant part in your step towards healing your resentful feelings. You must confront the person. This is so important because you release the feelings of negativity that you have and allow positive ones to enter. In many situations, the chances are that the individual didn’t even realize that you were offended with them, which may be the case with a job issue. By confronting this individual, you’re being the bigger person and apologizing for any part you had in the matter.
TALK TO A COUNSELOR OR THERAPIST
Mental health professionals deal with resentful people all day long. You’re not going to tell them something that they haven’t heard before, nor will you shock them in any way. They can help you see both sides of the situation, see what input you had in the matter, and help you find a resolution.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO HAVE FEELINGS
Resentment and bitterness are powerful feelings, and if you try to push those feelings away, it may cause more harm than you think. It’s okay to be upset, and you can work on it when you identify the problem.
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ARE YOU MAD AT THE PERSON OR THE SITUATION?
Sometimes people get mad at a situation more so than the person involved, and the individual becomes the fall guy. This could be the occurrence if you were passed up for a job, and management gave it to another person in your office. You’re not mad at that individual, but you’re envious and jealous that they choose them over you.
IDENTIFY IF YOU PLAYED ANY ROLE
Did you have any role in this person’s actions? For instance, if your spouse had an affair, was it because you were ignoring their needs after they had told you several times about a problem. Now, there is never an excuse for infidelity, but if you were not in a good place with your partner, then you need to own any role that you might have had.
FIND THE ROOT CAUSE
There may be a few issues that are causing you pain in your life. So, you should pick the one that causes the most resentful feelings to work on first. Now, you must identify why this situation is hurting you so badly.
WRITE IT DOWN
Perhaps, you have a list of people who’ve done you wrong and hurt you. Get a journal and write down what happened, when it occurred, and why it hurts you so badly. Getting your feelings out on paper will show you precisely what you need to work on, and you can think of this as your road map to get started in the healing process.
What was the hardest situation that you’ve ever encountered?
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